Dr. Daniel ZeißExecutive Advisory Frankfurt
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Two generations. Two languages.

His daughter only writes “ok.” He learned never to say how he feels. Why feelings can't be learned like vocabulary, and where emotional competence begins.

Lunch among friends. One man says: My daughter only texts me on Snapchat now.
His friend: She says talking to me is like talking to a wall. He replies: That's just her generation.
Alone at his desk in the evening, the phone shows only the message “ok.” Thought: When did she last write me more than two words?
Two generations. Two languages. She says how she feels. He learned not to. Both feel rejected.
A boy at the kitchen table with his stern grandfather. Text: 1983. Raised by grandparents who had lived through the war. Feelings were a luxury. Not a flaw. A hurdle.
You don't learn feelings like vocabulary. The head learns language. The body learns emotional competence, through interoception: sensing your own body signals.
Conversation in armchairs with the advisor. He: I don't want to lose my family. Advisor: Then we won't start with your daughter. We'll start with you. Where do you feel that right now?
He places his hand on his chest. Text: What he tuned out for decades becomes audible.
He texts his daughter, she reads it on her phone. Message: I realized today that I miss you. Text: Not perfect. But real.
A test for tonight. Hold one hand out in front of you, palm up. Imagine a lit tea light on it with a tiny flame. Pay attention: do you notice anything in your hand? What you are noticing right now is interoception. This is where emotional competence begins. If you feel nothing, that is not a failure. This is exactly where the work begins.
Closing slide: Dr. Daniel Zeiss, Executive Advisory Frankfurt. Advisory mandates for boards and executives. Physician and psychotherapist. Bound by medical confidentiality. Contact: kontakt@danielzeiss.com.
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All slides as text
  1. Lunch among friends. One man says: My daughter only texts me on Snapchat now.
  2. His friend: She says talking to me is like talking to a wall. He replies: That's just her generation.
  3. Alone at his desk in the evening, the phone shows only the message “ok.” Thought: When did she last write me more than two words?
  4. Two generations. Two languages. She says how she feels. He learned not to. Both feel rejected.
  5. A boy at the kitchen table with his stern grandfather. Text: 1983. Raised by grandparents who had lived through the war. Feelings were a luxury. Not a flaw. A hurdle.
  6. You don't learn feelings like vocabulary. The head learns language. The body learns emotional competence, through interoception: sensing your own body signals.
  7. Conversation in armchairs with the advisor. He: I don't want to lose my family. Advisor: Then we won't start with your daughter. We'll start with you. Where do you feel that right now?
  8. He places his hand on his chest. Text: What he tuned out for decades becomes audible.
  9. He texts his daughter, she reads it on her phone. Message: I realized today that I miss you. Text: Not perfect. But real.
  10. A test for tonight. Hold one hand out in front of you, palm up. Imagine a lit tea light on it with a tiny flame. Pay attention: do you notice anything in your hand? What you are noticing right now is interoception. This is where emotional competence begins. If you feel nothing, that is not a failure. This is exactly where the work begins.
  11. Closing slide: Dr. Daniel Zeiss, Executive Advisory Frankfurt. Advisory mandates for boards and executives. Physician and psychotherapist. Bound by medical confidentiality. Contact: kontakt@danielzeiss.com.

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